This girl needs to be buffed, bronzed, pampered and have a holiday wardrobe in a matter of days. I have been invited to stay at a friend’s pad on the Mediterranean this weekend. It’s a very chic part of the coast, where rural countryside and hills collide with tranquil sandy beaches and the most elegant beach clubs. I’m rather excited to be escaping the British humidity for the cool breeze of mainland Europe and so I delve into my doorstep pile of magazines for inspiration.

As I flick through the latest copies of Tatler, Elle and their glossy counterparts, I can’t help but wonder if I will ever manage to look so effortlessly stylish beachside as the goddesses that look up at me from the pages of glossy adverts. Encouragingly I look at the section in Grazia that shows celebrities in real life situations, some are even earmarked for the Hall of Shame in a bid to make me feel better – and yet Cheryl Cole cavorting on a beach in a beautiful swimsuit, albeit on her it is an unflattering colour and cut, and yet teamed with a Stetson worthy of JR Ewing she still gets a 10/10 for looking glamorous, graceful and groomed.

It’s easy for The A-List, I tell myself. They have what no ordinary working girl has – time – and plenty of it. Plus, of course, access to any designer brand at a whim. Clearly without haste, I must start multi-tasking and planning ahead.

I need beachside glamour on a budget and fast

I have an advantage that I’m at my desk at Bicester Village at least two afternoons a week, the rest of the time I’m zooming around London from meeting to meeting. I decide that Wednesday is D day for shopping and getting bikini body ready and Thursday is for packing.

"Barrie" handbag by Melissa Odabash

Melissa Odabash bikini for some beachside glamour

Lucky for me all the new offers start on a Monday, that being today – and I’ll get the pick of the crop before the weekend rush. I know La Perla, DVF and Elizabeth Hurley Beach have some great swimwear offers this week, up to 70% off the RRP (it pays to be on the inside) and also the new Melissa Odabash boutique (I salute as I say this) has just opened. Now here is a woman who knows how to design simplistic, delicate, flattering and functional beachwear in incredible fabrics.

Top marks for her signature Mediterranean chic and if Melissa Odabash beachwear is good enough for ladies Moss, Lopez, Hilton and Macpherson then it’s good enough for me.

I could look like this…

Another insiders tip: Lucky Bicester Village Facebook Fans that come to the village this week can enter a prize draw to win this Melissa Odabash bikini & a beach bag. Unfortunately for me staff can’t enter but if you want to save a further 10% off at the new Melissa Odabash boutique and maybe get to win this lovely zebra bikini I would recommend signing up to the Facebook fan page and planning a trip here before Sunday 11 July.

I can’t just pack beachwear. Can I?

Kalidora dress by Temperley

Did I tell you about the divine vintage rainbow print Kalidora dress from Temperley, a snip at £248? Well it was £620, and the girl in Temperley has told me that the vintage collection is only available at their Bicester boutique. It would be oh so perfect to wear to an informal dinner under the stars. It’s on my lust list, as is the pretty floral luggage from Radley. How convenient that I forgot to replace the case the airline left on top of a mountain in India last month.

I will make Time my new best friend

I decide that on Wednesday I will leave London at 11am, jump on the train from Marylebone and be there by 12pm, just enough time to get my holiday wardrobe sorted before my afternoon meetings. But I realise that this plan needs more precision as I gawp at my ever growing list of things I need to buy. I still have so much to do and I’m wondering how and when? These are two proverbial words that have no immediate answer.

Suddenly it hits me. I can kill two birds with one stone. The Forest of Wellbeing Spa at the Bicester Country Club has a spa offer if one buys a Bicester Village Gift Card (BOGOHP – that’s buy one get one half price in the garden of heaven). That’s my cousin’s engagement present sorted, she’ll thank me and probably blow the lot in Jimmy Choo instead of Bose, and I shall book myself into the amazingly glorious spa after work on Wednesday for beauty treatments and be exfoliated, wrapped, moisturised and bronzed. I should feel very serene after that. Hmmmm, that’s 4 treatments, I may have to buy a Gift Card for myself as well.

If I have time, I’ll blog from the beach… happy days.